When Your Monday Isn’t a Monday

Why I Stopped Pushing and Started Reality Checking

This morning, I finally sat down to work on a deep-focus project—the kind that requires your full brain and open heart.

Almost immediately, I felt a rising sense of panic and impatience.

I didn’t have the stamina to actually read what I was writing. I kept trying to skip ahead, skim the surface, and just get it done. But I knew better. I knew that deeply understanding this content was critical to everything that would come after.

So I paused. And I did a quick reality check on what was actually going on.

The Reality Check
Here’s what I noticed: I was holding myself to the same expectations I would hold on any other Monday morning.

But this wasn’t any other Monday morning.

It started with a sick dog (and the cleanup that comes with it).

Then, my 12-year-old son rolled out of bed on his day off with flushed cheeks and a gravelly voice telling me he didn’t feel good. I had to pivot to caretaking—checking symptoms, getting him set up, and just being present for him.

Then, my daughter called. She’d had a panic attack on her way to work after getting pulled over. I needed to be fully present for that deep conversation at 8:00 AM, holding space for her reality while managing my own worry.

To top it all off, I’ve been solo parenting for three days while my husband is away on a trip. The household tasks, the mental load, the emotional heavy lifting—it all fell on me.

And after all of that? I sat down at my desk and expected myself to be immediately productive, focused, and "normal."

The Disregulation of Expectation
The most disregulating part of my morning wasn’t the dog, or the sick kid, or the stressful phone call.

It was my expectation that I should be able to perform at my usual level despite all of it.

I was trying to be productive without feeling the sadness, worry, and fatigue that were coursing through my body. I was trying to override my reality with my agenda.

So instead of pushing through—which would have resulted in subpar work and a completely fried nervous system—I made myself pause.

I asked myself the most important question in my toolkit: What do I need right now?

The answer wasn’t more coffee, action, or grit. The answer was a beat. A breath. And some movement.

The Reset
I took a walk. I vented about my morning into a voice note app. Then I turned off the external noise and just listened to the unusually loud birds on this early spring day.

I reminded myself of three things:

1. It is okay to take space to get grounded. In fact, it is the best thing I can do for the quality of my work and the people I want to serve.

2. I am not alone in these feelings. It is normal and natural to feel this way.

3. My expectations must match my reality.

I cannot force ahead with the same expectations I’d have on a day when the house is empty and my partner is sharing the load. Today required a different kind of agility.

So I reset my expectations. I took the pressure of "deep focus" off the agenda. I focused on agility instead of productivity. I made sure my son was hydrated, my daughter felt supported, and I got some sun on my eyeballs.

Then I settled in with some music and did some tedious file organization work that required patience, but not deep thinking.

And that is okay.

The Invitation
If you are feeling the pressure to push through today despite a reality that is asking you to slow down: Pause.

Do a reality check. Are your expectations matching the day you are actually having? Or are they matching the day you wish you were having?

Adjust accordingly. The work will be there. Make sure you are there to do it well.