When try harder is a trap…
This article from last year caught my eye at exactly the right moment—when I was thinking through a pivot in my work and wondering about my capacity to hold it. I'm republishing it because the reminder still lands. Sometimes you need to speed up when your brain is telling you to go slower.
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Last year, we took my 12-year-old son Jacob knee-boarding for the first time, and what unfolded reminded me why comparison is such a dangerous practice in business.
Jacob was a natural. He got up on his very first try.
While that first ride was a bouncy one, he made small adjustments each time—leading to a smoother ride and greater control. His energy output actually decreased as his skill increased.
We also had friends with us, including their 16-year-old son Drew. Drew's experience was a stark contrast.
He immediately felt the resistance and drag on the board and decided he didn't want to continue.
What Drew didn't know—and what my husband Mike and I realized later—was a crucial piece of foundational knowledge: you actually have to go faster for the board to pop up out of the water and become easier to control.
In Drew's mind, because he was struggling, he needed to slow down. He quickly assessed the initial difficulty and concluded he wouldn't be successful.
Drew's dad Joe gave it a try next. Joe managed to get up on the board, but his weight distribution caused aggressive bouncing once on the surface. The combination of boat speed and the board's instability was too much, and he had to let go of the rope.
Here's what struck me.
Drew and Joe put in the same—or more—effort than Jacob, but their outcomes were radically different. Because of physical differences, foundational knowledge, and pure instinct, Jacob didn't fight the water for as long as Drew did, and he didn't bounce like Joe because he'd figured out how to shift his weight.
His energy output for a successful ride was actually less than theirs, even though the effort looked the same from the outside.
I've felt this exact struggle in my own career.
On the surface, it looks like I'm attempting the same things my peers are doing. But I can feel a resistance and struggle that isn't evident in their experience.
This is where "try harder" becomes a trap.
Even when it's the same task—whether knee-boarding, launching a new program, or scaling your business—your unique combination of experience, knowledge, and natural instincts can make the journey radically different from someone else's.
The risk of hanging on for dear life when you're fighting the current?
Burnout, exhaustion, and ultimately walking away from something that might have been perfect for you with the right strategy.
Sometimes the answer isn't trying harder.
Sometimes you need to let go of the rope—so you can figure out what's going wrong, assess new information, and try again with a better plan.
And sometimes, counterintuitively, you need to stop hesitating and pick up the speed.
Because with action comes clarity, knowledge, and insights you couldn't have accessed any other way.
Glad you're on the earth,
Julie