Finding Courage When You Feel Like a Coward: How to Show Up for Your Community During Hard Times

I teach courage-building work, and lately I've been feeling like a coward.

Last week, in my coaching circle of mission-driven consultants serving nonprofits, the space was tender and heavy. We opened with two-word check-ins: "Mushy and anxious." "Empty and full." "Heavy and scattered."

We're all navigating daily responsibilities while holding multiple sources of grief and uncertainty. The nonprofits we care about are experiencing a dramatically shifted and unpredictable federal funding landscape at best, and a drastic withdrawal of funding at worst. And we're all witnessing national events—immigration raids, civil unrest, senseless violence—that feel both incomprehensible and terrifyingly real.

So how do we show up when everything feels overwhelming? Here's what this group of powerful, deeply feeling consultants reminded me:

Get Granular with Your Emotions

When we can name what we're feeling precisely—not just "bad" or "stressed" but the more accurate "powerless" or "grief"—we can respond differently. And remember, we can hold seemingly conflicting emotions. Grief and hope can both be true. We can show up for both.

Practice Radical Self-Compassion

Yes, even if we're privileged and safe. Because we can't create positive and lasting change from self-flagellation and judgment. My favorite practice is from Kristin Neff:

Put your hand on your heart. Take a deep breath and say to yourself: "This is hard."

With your next breath: "It's normal and natural to feel this way. Other people feel this way too." (This reminds us of our common humanity.)

Finally: "May I be kind to myself as I move through this experience?"

Take Aligned Action, However Small

Our action doesn't have to be loud or even visible. It just needs to align with our values. Show up authentically in your next podcast and tell the truth about what you're seeing. Fill your neighborhood food pantry, or show up to an event. Resist the voice in your head that says it isn't enough—it's a step, and steps matter.

Connect with Others

We're not meant to navigate this alone. Whether it's a coaching circle, a writing group, or lunch with colleagues in your field—isolation makes everything harder.

Be Patient with Your Inner Critic

If your self-talk has gotten sharper lately, or defaulted to old patterns you thought you'd eliminated, this is normal during stress and fatigue. Those old thought patterns have deep grooves in your brain that are easier to traverse when you're exhausted than the newer pathways you've been creating.

This doesn't mean you've failed at rewiring your thoughts—just notice it, challenge it, and get back on the newer path as soon as you can.

The Permission to Feel AND Act

Here's the invitation for today: notice the emotions you're experiencing and show up for them like you'd show up for someone you love. It's all okay and belongs here. Only after we allow this do new ideas and opportunities for aligned action often emerge.

The woman who has been feeling like a coward? She spent an hour holding space for brilliant consultants to process their grief, find their courage, and remember they're not alone. Turns out, that was aligned action too.

We don't have to choose between feeling our feelings and showing up for our communities. We can do both. And we don't have to do it perfectly.

What's one small, aligned action you can take today?